I’m in a funk. Like, big time.

My personality is one of extremes. When I have an idea and I’m focused on something, I’m unstoppable. When things get slow in life or other people are in control of my pace, I get all wigged out. I feel gloomy and stifled.

I also like to be in a good mood, I like helping others and I prefer to be the person people can come to instead of consoling. The past 4 years of my life have involved a lot of consoling and little “come to”. I don’t have massive drama or horrible stories (counting blessings) but I just feel blah.

In a 24 hour period, I caught my son opening his screen on the window of his second story bedroom. He had thrown a toy out and was reaching through the window. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. All I could think about was what could have happened. Then, to top it all off, our dog ran away right when it got dark. There was no way we were going to find that sweet yorkie.

I felt like woman of the year on that day.

(We did find our dog at our neighbors house – we are so grateful for them)

Starting organizedCHAOS was an act of passion for mom and I. It’s our natural personality, we aren’t told to be one way or another. We can just be us. I love blogging and I love blogging with my own voice. I rarely edit anything (as you’ll see) and I love LOVE connecting with you. Comments are everything. When I get an alert that someone is following the blog or we get a new fan on Facebook, it’s a full-on party in my office. This is no joke. To have someone show their personality in a place like this site is incredible. We’re basically building a friendship community.

On the other hand (negative side), I’m working at a part time job where there are rules, systems, and little room for creativity and input. While this place is an incredible company, I’m just not cut out for following certain guidelines with no wiggle room.

Bright spot: I am on-air at a radio station here one day a week. That show is something I look forward to all week. I love it. Having a background in morning radio has changed my way of thinking about work. For 10 years, I woke up, talked about life and pop culture and then came home and continued to live. I LOVED IT! The opportunities are few right now so this is what led me to the whole part time job.

I need to get out of this funk. I don’t know how and I don’t know when.

I’m also extremely nervous to publish this post because I don’t know how it will be received. Do I look weak? Do you trust me less? Do you understand?

What I want, more than anything, is for organizedCHAOSonline to be my everything and what I do day in and day out.

I’ve been really focusing on “Living in the Moment”. I’d love this moment, right here, to last for a long time. Later today when I’m working, I don’t want to live that moment at all.

(Start at 4 minutes 22 seconds to get the point)

I’ve promised you that I’d be open, honest and not hold anything back. This is what it looks like.

tawsha connell